happygolucky.no

Siste strekning. Trygt ombord i en Boeing 767, sammen med to av verdens rareste folkeslag. Russere og Japanere….

Vi har jo på en måte vært innom temaet før, men det gjør meg like godt å bringe det på banen atter en gang:

Sheremetyevo flyplassen her i Moskva MÅ være verdens kjipeste flyplass…. Maten er uspiselig, alle er sure, alt er grått, Tax-free butikken har kun sprit, boksjappa har kun russisk lesestoff og ting tar evigheter her….

Vi har gått til det svært drastiske skritt å smøre matpakker….. Det er ikke hver dag….

Jeg lurer faktisk på om dette egentlig er en Russisk opplevelsespark, hvor de har samlet det de kom over av Russiske stereotyper…
(Gratis WLAN trekker selvsagt veldig opp, men det holder ikke i lengden…)

Det skrangler, rister, bråker noe sinnsykt og humper opp og ned konstant. Velkommen til Aeroflot.

Det lukta som vanlig bensin da vi tok av og majoriteten at armlenene virker heller ikke denne gang….. men vi flyr, og hvis dette flyet kan lande, vil vi snart være i Moskva….

Som dere ser ut fra bildene er det ikke smekkfullt ombord hos Russerne idag. Vi er 10 personer i det bakerste rommet på Tupoleven. Ganske behagelig dog.

Det skjedde også noe veldig rart under matserveringen her idag…. Elena, vår platinablonde og svært russiske flyvertinne, smilte nesten to ganger. Jeg velger å se på det som et gedigent arbeidsuhell, og noe som mest sannsynlig ikke kommer til å gjenta seg iløpet av våre 6 timer på Russisk jord …. Må jo bli trekk i lønn på stakkars Elena dette….

Som om denne smilinga i tide og utide ikke var nok, har jeg begått kjempetabben med å lese “Klimaløftet – Et utgiverbilag fra Aftenposten” fra perm til perm…. Noe som har gjort meg fysisk svært uvel.

Nå leser jeg den Russiske tax-free katalogen og flyets bruksanvisning. Målet er også der Perm-til-perm, dog uten å bli uvel.

Landingen gikk ei heller problemfritt. Russiske fly har tydeligvis seter som kan vippes framover, og når det ikke sitter mennesker i disse setene og Herr Pilot bestemmer at det skal bråbremses ved landing, må jo det litt komiske skje. Lyden av 150 seter som synkront klapper sammen høres vesentlig farligere ut enn det faktisk er….

Elena tok imidlertid hendelsen med stoisk ro, og var kjapt igang med dekke over denne litt uventede egenskapen til Tupoleven så fort vi stod på bakken. Herlig.

Just landed in Moscow. From the eastern front I can report that nothing much has changed. The Russian people are still the worst the Planet Earth can offer you. Smiling still seems to be forbidden. Everything is extremely worn out and remarkably ugly. Inefficiency seem to be their favourite activity. They are Israelli-rude. (Forming a line with there people is nothing less than depressing). Since we are arriving pretty late in the evening, everyone either smell like pigs, or like a perfume shop in Italy. (The latter being the least common). The only good thing about our stay at Sheremetyevo 2 this time, is that we are only here for 3 hours, and hopefully will be able to avoid eating at some of the “restaurants” here. If the Buddhists turn out to be the ones that are right…… I would prefere to be reborn a American POW in the middle of Iraq, long before a Russian citizen.

Once again I have the pleasure to fly with the Russian Empire Airlines. This time they seated me and traveling partner to south-east Asia, Mr. Geir, at row 7, which actually makes talking possible. In the far back of the plane, where, they have decided to put tow Russian-pre-WWII-jet-engines, talking is not an option. On the first part of this journey, Mr. “Sjakk-Magnus”, have been seated next to us.

The 15-year-old-chess-miracle-kid have however, been sleeping from take-off to landing. We are suspecting he might have been playing chess (or poker) online all night. He has not eaten at all, and we are a bit worried.

After a raid through the Tax Free shop, we say goodbye to Russia for now. The land with the least friendly people in the world, has fulfilled it’s rumor…. For serveral reasons, I am certain the whole nation is a little retarded….

9 million people take the Moscow Metro every day…. More than both the New York and the London metro together…. Right now it feels like all the 9 million people are on this train.

Today we have been touring the Moscow underground taking pictures of the crazy architecture and decorations. Now we are having lunch at Coffe Mania, that turned out to be alot cooler than expected, with all the Russian business men.

Another day in the capital of Russia…. Today we will in photographing at the metro

After some trouble with both immigrations and the taxi driter that took up to our very strange Hostel, we have had a nice touristic day in the very difficult city of Moscow. I think I will hate russians more than I hate Israelis after this couple of days….

After a rather bumpy ride in the Tupolev-Monster, we are now at Sheremetevo airport outside Moscow…. Here you can visit approximately 25 different Tax-free shops, eat in over priced restaurants and buy Babushka dolls for 9000 nok….

Coke tastes like it does in all other places on this world, people smoke everywhere, there is Red Hot coming from the loudspeaker in the cafeteria and there is no way in hell we understand a single word the people here say, even when it is supposed to be in english….

Perfect timing for consulting with our friend mr. LonelyPlanet on what to do tomorrow in Beijing.

We are on our way to China…. Miss Ekkje is enjoying her breakfast….

After another visit at the highly worthless Russian Embassy in Oslo, we are ready to enter the Russian Federation.

Picking up our flight tickets at the Aeroflot office in Oslo…. Takes a while….

Since our Visa for China is OK, Russia is what to be fixed next….

The Russian Embassy in Oslo turned out to be quite…

RUSSIAN…

2 hours in line to DELIVER our passports…
Pickup in 14 days

GREAT!!